cumfort:

it’s 2014 why can’t we teleport to certain places yet

trapg0ds:

joseguwop:

" i want a 6’3 boy "
bitch you need a job

have a seat 

men have preferences out the ass
"i want a girl with big boobs, thick thighs, a big ass, a tiny waist, long hair, no makeup, preferably a mix a mix between beyonce and a kardashian"

but if a girl has one preference, suddenly she’s an unemployed bitch

fuck outta here with this bullshit this post is trash 

lordofthewincest:

skeletons have become a meme and that means there is a meme inside you, with you at all times.

levithedisneyprincess:

xdw94xd:

This is apparently coming out in 3 days.

In 3 days, I’m going to start to be a total jogging addict, I think

I’ve been beta testing it and I can confirm it’s actually the greatest app ever. Full iOS release date is as specified, Android release this Spring.

It’s so intense, at one point during the first mission when radio contact was lost, I could hear them trying to contact me “Can you hear us?!” and I literally grabbed the mic and shouted, “I CAN HEAR YOU WHAT DO I DO?” even though that’s not how it works.

I’m just glad nobody was near me.

Alright yall sit your asses down I’m telling you a story

I have this app and it is one of my best purchases I’ve ever had. It endorses your running and makes you work.

The only downside is that it is fucking terrifying. One time, I was running, and got surrounded by zombies. Groaning and shuffling from all angles. And I have never ran that fast in my entire life. I completed my course(which usually takes 15 mins) in 5. I was also screaming a bit. I got some really weird looks, too.

So, morale of the story: This is a fucking scary app and I recommend it 100%.

frozen + text posts (insp)

grimdarkthroes:

incorrectusage:

I’m going to reply to this.

I was in a bar in Chicago when I told a close friend of 20 years that, despite being a lesbian, I was marrying a man. My friend and I hadn’t seen each other in a while, but we fell back quickly into our old intimacy…

escapedosmil:

Today i had a very interesting thing happen.

First, some pretext:

I work in an abortion clinic. It is my job to accompany the patient from beginning to end making sure they have the information they need to make an informed decision about their procedure. I test their blood, I dot the Is and…


original

bryannotbrian:

jokkes:

Spiderman crashes Xmen set.

this needs to happen more often

karla-world:

I don’t care how hot you are, if your personality is shit your physical appearance automatically means nothing

ghostcattgirl:

when people say really gross things to u and u don’t feel like explaining to them why they’re wrong

image

Most girls on first day of school: -walks around school, finds old friends, gets new class list-
Me on first day of school: -stumbles into random music room, breaks expensive vase, accidentally joins a host club-